PulpLit.net

Metaphorical Madness

"We know as a law of physics that heat is the chief, if not the only, source of light. Reducing the sun to room temperature would decrease light to nothing at all, as well as generating a definite chill. The truth cannot lie, but if it could, it would lie somewhere in between. On some grave questions, there is no difference to be split; one does not look for a synthesis between verity and falsehood; the sun does not rise in the east one day and in the west the next."
- From Christopher Hitchens's Letters to a Young Contrarian

There are few things more irritating than writers who bandy about scientific facts in order to sound like they know what they're talking about. One of these is a writer whose scientific facts are completely irrelevant to the argument he is making. Or perhaps such a writer who also insists on using bad puns. Hitchens is trying to argue that the truth sometimes is a black and white issue, rather than residing in the grey space in between. Fair enough, but I fail to see how a discussion of the sun's temperature clarifies the issue, or even adds metaphoric richness, since it has nothing to do with truth, black or white extremes, or the middle ground between them. And the final statement certainly brings back the theme of the sun, but is unrelated to both the previous sun reference and the argument itself.

In the center of the paragraph, pinning together the two utterly irrelevant solar factoids, we have a sentence that is a paragon of the ludicrous. Not only does it fail to make sense on first reading, it fails to make sense on second reading as well. I have always held puns to be a low form of humor, good for a groan at best. This one is more worth a snort of contempt.

To me, the most amazing detail about this paragraph is that the publisher chose it for the back cover of the book. I suppose it must be difficult to sell a book that purports to teach people how to be dissenters (this coming from a popular columnist who specializes in lampooning other celebrities). I always apply a large handfull of salt to any written work that is going to teach me to be "unique" or "alternative." But when the author is so clearly bent upon making himself ridiculous, it's almost worth reading, just for the humor value. Almost.