PulpLit.net

Now taking applications

My current compulsions aren't satisfying me anymore.

• Checking Email (6 to 10 times an hour)
• Checking The Daily Mail (Every hour until it gets here)
• Checking Contests I've entered (writing and other)
• Following Up On Submissions (daily)
• Checking Blog Discussion Thread (Emily actually posts there.)
• Eating grilled cheese sandwiches

I've noticed that save for the grilled cheese (no, I won't put it down) these mostly involve checking on things, which means satisfaction is largely dependant on the participation of entities beyond my control.

To remedy this, I will now be accepting applications from unattached compulsions more in line with the ones prepackaged with releases Jill 1.5 - 2.2. (If the 80s are back now, the 90s can't be far around the bend.) You may remember such classics as:

• buying too many CDs
• listening to the same song over and over and over again on repeat
• painting large canvases with tiny brushes
• non-fiction
• Fish stickers (prefer shiny goldfish blowing blue bubbles)
• Twizzlers
• The Uncanny (ie: Dreaming in premonitions & denying own ESP)
• Persistent longing

The successful applicant will capture the self-reliant creative energy of Jill 1.5 - 2.2 with none of the nausea or depression. Compulsions should look back on Jill through rose-coloured glasses to determine whether they fit the bill.

Please note that proposals involving diner food, dancing, sneakers and matching hats will be considered first, whereas any suggested combination of cleaning, journal writing or poetry will be rejected outright.