PulpLit.net

I'm in no mood to be optimal

Look Man, I've had it with the measuring.

Yeah Man, I mean you. The Man. The one who's always getting everyone down.

I don't know who you are exactly, but I know you're the one who invented the pedometer and made the heart rate monitor portable, and that you're the same Man, man, who's following me around converting everything I eat into calories and percentages of daily required nutrients.

I gotta tell you, Man, sometimes a banana is just a banana. Like at lunch. OK? So back off, alright?

Here's what I'm going to do. If I want to go for a walk, I'm going for a walk. I'm not going to tell anyone or look at my watch while I'm walking. I'm not going to take my pulse. I'm not going to carry an iPod. I'm just going to walk.

Stop looking at me like that, Man. I've made up my mind. I'm going to walk, I'm going to skate, I'm going to dance. If I feel like it, I'll swim or go to yoga. Stop trying to institutionalize my daily activity level. YOU might like driving to the gym to get some precise and optimized exercise but I've had it up to here with your regime(n).